Hey Mama,
I see you. The endless hustle of raising neurodivergent kids—always being “on,” constantly juggling schedules, thinking ahead, and always figuring out what your child needs next. It’s tough. And if I’m being honest, as a mama raising a neurodivergent child myself, I know how draining it can be. The emotional, mental, and physical toll of parenting in a world that doesn’t always understand us or our kids is real.
But here’s the truth I’ve had to learn over and over again: You need rest. And more importantly, you deserve rest.
I know, I know—finding moments of peace when you’re raising neurodivergent kids can feel impossible. But the reality is that it’s in those brief moments of reset that we can find the strength to keep going. It’s in those small breaks that we recharge, refuel, and become better parents to our incredible kids.
The Oxygen Mask Analogy: Why You Have to Take Care of Yourself First
Have you ever heard the analogy about oxygen masks on airplanes? The flight attendants always tell you, “Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.” It seems simple enough, right? But the truth behind this is powerful: You can’t help someone else breathe if you’re gasping for air yourself.
As moms, especially to neurodivergent kids, we’re often giving so much of ourselves to others. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t be the best versions of ourselves for our children. And that’s why taking time to reset is so important.
It’s not selfish—it’s necessary. And when you allow yourself those moments of peace, you’re actually helping your kids too. You’re showing them that it’s okay to care for yourself, to rest, and to take a step back when needed. You’re teaching them how to self-regulate, how to be mindful of their own needs, and how to balance self-care with caring for others.
The Guilt That Comes with Taking a Break
I totally get it. The guilt. The “shoulds” that creep in:
“I should be doing more.”
“I shouldn’t need a break.”
“If I take a moment for myself, my child will feel neglected.”
Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve felt the overwhelming pressure to always be “on.” But here’s the truth: You are doing enough.
Taking a break doesn’t mean you’re not a good mom. In fact, by taking time to reset, you are setting an example for your kids about the importance of rest. You’re showing them that it’s okay to have boundaries, to ask for help, and to make time for themselves.
When you let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to reset, you’ll be amazed at how much more energy, patience, and love you have to offer.
The World Doesn’t Always Tell Us This, But We’ve Already Thrown Out the Rulebook
Let’s be real for a moment: the world often tells us that we should be constantly “on.” It expects us to be available 24/7, doing everything for our kids. But here’s the thing: We’ve already thrown out that rulebook. As mamas raising neurodivergent kids, we’ve had to create our own way. And that means our own rules—rules that prioritize our well-being and mental health.
The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, especially when it comes to neurodivergence. What works for one family may not work for another. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay—it’s something to embrace. We’ve learned to navigate the world a little differently, and that means we need to care for ourselves a little differently too.
Practical Ways to Reset and Find Moments of Peace
I know it can feel like there’s never a good time to take a break when you’re raising neurodivergent kids. So let’s talk about how to make it happen—even in the busiest of days.
Here are a few practical steps you can take to find a moment of peace, reset, and recharge:
1. Take Short, Meaningful Breaks (Even if It’s Just 5 Minutes)
Sometimes the best way to reset is by taking a quick break. You don’t need hours of alone time. Instead, find small pockets of peace throughout the day. Step outside for 5 minutes to get fresh air, close your eyes and breathe deeply, or sneak into the bathroom for a moment of quiet.
These short moments of stillness can make a huge difference in how you feel. Even just five minutes can help you clear your mind and regain some energy.
2. Practice Deep Breathing or Mindfulness
Deep breathing can instantly lower stress and help you feel more grounded. Try deep breathing exercises, or if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few moments for a short meditation or mindfulness practice. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer great guided meditations that take just a few minutes and can work wonders for calming your mind.
3. Set Boundaries with Time (And Stick to Them)
I know this can be hard, especially if you’re the primary caregiver, but setting boundaries is vital. If you can, ask for help—whether it’s from a partner, a relative, or a friend—so that you can carve out time for yourself. Setting time aside for a reset is just as important as any other task on your to-do list.
Maybe it’s a scheduled “mom time” every evening for 20 minutes or using a weekend afternoon to get away for a walk or a coffee. Whatever it looks like, make sure to prioritize it.
4. Use Your Support System (Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help)
Whether it’s your partner, a family member, or a trusted friend, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s okay to need support. When you have someone else step in for a moment, you get the opportunity to reset. This isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a strength.
5. Find Tools That Help You Feel Calm
Certain tools and routines can help you find your center. A good journal to write your thoughts out, a calming playlist, or a warm bath can all be ways to reset your mind and body. Even a comforting cup of tea can give you a moment of peace. Find what works for you and make it part of your routine.
A Final Word: You Are Not Alone
Mama, I want you to hear me when I say this: You are doing an amazing job. You are showing up for your kids in ways that are beyond measure, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. And part of showing up for them means showing up for yourself, too.
Taking the time to reset is not a luxury; it’s essential for your well-being and your ability to parent in the best way possible. You are worthy of those moments of peace. You are worthy of rest. You are worthy of self-care.
So take a deep breath, reset, and know that you’ve got this. You’re not alone in this journey, and you’re doing more than enough.
