If you’re a mama raising a neurodivergent child, finding community can feel complicated. You might crave a village, but also feel exhausted, overstimulated, or unsure where you even fit. Add in autism, ADHD, AuDHD, school stress, appointments, and the invisible load of advocating, and it can start to feel like everyone else has support… except you.

Here’s the truth: community doesn’t have to mean a huge social life. For neurodivergent families, the best support is often smaller, safer, and built around shared understanding. The goal is not “more friends.” The goal is people who get it.

Why community matters for neurodivergent moms

Community helps you regulate, problem-solve, and stop carrying everything alone. For parents of autistic children and ADHD children, support can reduce burnout, give practical ideas, and remind you you’re not failing, you’re navigating a different parenting journey.

5 practical ways to find community where you are

1) Start with one safe person, not a whole group
Think: one mum at school pick-up, one WhatsApp chat, one neighbour, one cousin. The smallest connection can become your anchor.

2) Look for “shared reality” spaces, not generic parenting spaces
Search terms like: neurodivergent parenting support, autism parent support group, ADHD parenting community, SEND parents UK, SEN mums, or AuDHD moms. Spaces that understand sensory needs, meltdowns, and school battles feel very different from mainstream parenting advice.

3) Use micro-connection when life is full
Community can be: voice notes, a 10-minute call, a shared meme, or a “how was today?” text. If you’re a burnt out mum, small counts. Consistency matters more than length.

4) Join places that match your nervous system
If busy groups overwhelm you, try quieter options: a monthly meet-up, a small online membership, a structured support group, or a local SEND coffee morning where you can come and go. The right community feels regulating, not draining.

5) Be honest about what you need
Try a simple message: “We’re in a hard season. I don’t need fixing, I just need someone who gets it.” The right people will respond with kindness, not judgement.

You don’t need a perfect village, you need a real one

If you’re feeling isolated as a neurodivergent mama, let this be your reminder: you’re not alone, and you’re not “too much.” Start small, look for shared understanding, and build from there. Community can exist exactly where you are, even if it begins with one brave message.