Surviving Meltdowns
Host of Neurodivergent Conversations Podcast and a neuro-affirming coach for mamas raising neurodivergent kids. I share honest, no-fluff support rooted in real life and community, because I’ve been the mama who felt like she was doing this alone.
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Parent Input statement
If you’re here because you typed “9 symptoms of ADHD” into Google at midnight (again), you’re not alone. Most parents don’t start out trying to become mini-experts in attention and behavior. They start out trying to understand their child.
Maybe you’re noticing constant daydreaming, explosive frustration over “small” things, or the never-ending battle to start homework. Maybe school has raised concerns. Or maybe your gut has been whispering, “Something is going on, and my child isn’t doing this on purpose.”
Let’s walk through the 9 symptoms of ADHD in a clear, parent-friendly way, including what they can look like in real life. And just a reminder: this isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you spot patterns and know what to ask for next.
ADHD symptoms are usually grouped into two categories: inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity. The “9 symptoms” people search for most often are the 9 inattention symptoms used in clinical criteria. (There are also 9 hyperactive/impulsive symptoms, too.) Many kids have a mix of both, which is why you might hear terms like “combined presentation.”
Now, let’s get into the question you came for.
This is the “they know it, but the work doesn’t show it” symptom.
What it can look like at home or school:
This is rarely laziness. Many children with ADHD struggle with sustained focus and checking their work, especially when they feel pressured, bored, or overwhelmed.
This is a big one, and it doesn’t always look like “can’t focus at all.” Sometimes it looks like can’t focus on the thing that isn’t interesting.
What it can look like:
You might also notice attention comes and goes depending on energy, stress, sleep, hunger, and the environment.
This one can feel personal, because it can look like ignoring. But often it’s a processing and attention issue, not disrespect.
What it can look like:
A helpful reframe many parents use: “They’re not not listening, they’re not able to access the listening right now.”
It’s not that they don’t start. They often do. It’s that the middle and the end fall apart.
What it can look like:
This is connected to executive function skills: planning, sequencing, remembering steps, and staying on track.
Organization is not just “keeping a tidy room.” It’s an internal skill set that helps kids manage time, steps, and materials.
What it can look like:
If your child panics over “clean your room,” it might not be defiance. It might be that the task feels too big and their brain can’t map the steps.
This is where homework battles are born.
What it can look like:
This can be linked to working memory and mental stamina. It’s exhausting to force your brain to stay with something that doesn’t naturally “hook” your attention.
If you’ve ever bought five rulers in a single term… welcome.
What it can look like:
This isn’t always carelessness. It can be attention, memory, and “object permanence” challenges, especially during transitions and busy moments.
The world is loud when your brain can’t filter.
What it can look like:
Some kids are also distracted by internal thoughts, worries, or sensory discomfort (like itchy labels or bright lights).
This one can affect routines, school, and friendships.
What it can look like:
It’s frustrating because it can feel like your child “doesn’t care.” But many kids with ADHD care deeply, and still can’t consistently remember without support.
If reading these made your chest tighten, I get it.
Not because a list on the internet has all the answers, but because you might be seeing your child in every point. And if you’re anything like most parents I talk to, your next thought is something like: Have I missed this? Have I handled it wrong? What if I’ve been too hard on them?
Here’s what I want you to hear clearly: noticing symptoms doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re paying attention.
When ADHD is part of your child’s story, the goal isn’t to “fix” them. It’s to understand how their brain works so you can support them with more compassion and less constant conflict.
You’ll usually want to seek an assessment or professional support if:
A GP, paediatrician, child psychologist, or school support team can help you explore next steps depending on where you live.
Are these the only 9 symptoms of ADHD?
These are the 9 symptoms in the inattention category. There are also 9 symptoms in the hyperactivity/impulsivity category.
Can a child have ADHD without being hyperactive?
Yes. Many children, especially girls, are more inattentive, internal, and “quietly struggling.”
Can ADHD look like anxiety or oppositional behaviour?
It can overlap. ADHD can come with emotional dysregulation, overwhelm, and shutdowns, which can be mistaken for “bad behaviour.”
If you’re wondering whether your child has ADHD, you don’t need to have everything figured out today. Start with patterns. Start with language. Start with support.
And if your child is constantly getting told to “try harder,” while you can see they already are, you’re allowed to push for answers. You’re allowed to advocate. You’re allowed to trust your instincts.
Because understanding your child changes everything.
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