Someone tells you to look into Makaton. Maybe it’s a speech and language therapist, maybe it’s a health visitor, maybe it’s another mum in a waiting room. You nod. You write it down. And then you go home, open a browser tab, and immediately feel that specific kind of overwhelm that comes from being handed one more enormous thing when you are already carrying a lot.

If that’s where you are, this is for you.

On this episode of Neurodivergent Conversations I spoke with Kaley, a Makaton tutor and the mum behind @sign_possible. Her son Rui is seven and a half. He was diagnosed with low muscle tone and global developmental delay at one, and autistic at four. He said his first word at five and a half.

Kaley didn’t set out to become a tutor. She became one because she needed Makaton to work for her own family first.

What Makaton actually is

Makaton is a communication programme that uses speech, signs, and symbols to support people who have a communication difference, a communication difficulty, or a learning disability.

The important bit, and the bit I completely misunderstood, is that you don’t have to use all three. You mix them to fit the person in front of you:

• Speech and signs
• Speech and symbols
• Speech, signs and symbols together

Symbols are a genuinely useful option that doesn’t get talked about enough. If a child struggles to physically form signs, whether because of a disability or fine motor differences, symbols take that barrier away. They’re also a better fit for a child who finds eye contact uncomfortable, or who prefers their communication system to stay still rather than move. As Kaley pointed out, a sign disappears the moment you move on to the next one. A symbol stays put.

The one constant is your voice. In Makaton, the adult always speaks.

Makaton vs British Sign Language

This comes up constantly, and Kaley gets asked it all the time.

British Sign Language is a full language in its own right. It was created by and for the Deaf community. It has its own grammar and word order, it has regional variations across the country, and little or no speech is used alongside it.

Makaton is a communication programme, and it’s standardised. The same signs are used wherever you are in the country, and you speak in full grammatical sentences while signing only the key information-carrying words.

Kaley gave the clearest example I’ve heard. To say “I’m going to work”:

• In BSL, with no speech, the structure is closer to “work, I go.”
• In Makaton, you say the full sentence “I’m going to work” out loud and sign “I go work” as you say it.

Both are valuable. They just have different users and different purposes. For Kaley’s family, the deciding factor was that Rui could hear. She wanted him to hear the words, watch her lip patterns, and eventually produce the speech himself, in the right order.

The five-sign rule

Here is the part I want every overwhelmed mama to take away.

When Makaton was first suggested, Kaley felt exactly what you’re feeling. In her words, it felt like a language, and it was scary, and she already had everything else going on in her life.

So she made a decision: focus on five signs. That’s it. Five.

And critically, she didn’t choose five “sensible” words. She chose based on what motivated Rui:

• Is he wildly motivated by a biscuit? Learn biscuit.
• Is he obsessed with Peppa Pig? Learn mummy and daddy, then play with the figures and sign the words every time you say them.
• Is he into farm animals? Learn pig and cow.

Functional words like food and drink are a good anchor, but motivation is what makes a sign stick. As Kaley put it, when you say a word out loud it gives no clue to what it means. Add the visual, and you’re helping your child connect the meaning to the sound.

Consistency beats fluency (and getting everyone on board)

Kaley and her husband did the Level 1 and 2 course. Then they got the nanny and granddad on it. Then both of Rui’s key workers at nursery.

That’s a lot of effort, and she’d say it’s the effort that mattered most. A child needs to see Makaton being used many, many times before they’ll try it themselves, because they need to feel safe first. They need to look around and see that everyone around them signs, so if they have a go, they’ll be understood.

Her comparison is perfect: think about how many times you say “mama” and “dada” to a baby before they ever say it back.

She also extends this beyond the house. If your child is on school transport, can the bus driver learn hello and good morning? That one small thing sets the tone for the whole day and tells your child they’re welcome here.

And she’s refreshingly real about the fact that consistency slips. Some days you’re out shopping with your hands full of bags and there’s simply no hand free to sign with. That’s fine. Aim for consistent, not perfect.

Teaching emotions through Makaton

Emotions are hard, and Kaley is upfront that as a parent to an autistic child, talking about and understanding feelings takes deliberate work.

Her approach is repetition plus your whole face. Makaton leans heavily on nonverbal communication, so when you sign sad, you frown and your eyes go sad. When you sign happy, your eyes light up.

She also used role play with toys he loved. The car would bump into Igglepiggle’s toe, and she’d sign pain over the toe with pain on her face. Then the car would bump into her toe, and she’d do the same thing on herself. Same concept, different body, building the connection.

Never correct the sign

This one is worth printing out and sticking on the fridge.

When Rui signs something and it doesn’t look like the standard sign, Kaley never says “no, that’s wrong, this is how we do it.” She says “yes, more, well done,” and models the correct sign alongside his version.

Her reasoning: she wants a positive communication environment and she wants his self-esteem intact. The attempt is the win.

It took Rui four years to sign “more” the way she signs it. Four years of never being corrected.

Prepare the people around your child

Before Rui started school, Kaley called a meeting with his reception teacher, the TAs, the nursery workers and the SENCo. She went through a full list: this is the standard sign for this word, and this is how Rui signs it. Sign by sign, all the way down.

He was completely non-speaking at that point, and her fear was him walking into a school full of strangers and feeling lost.

She’s glad she did it. The school learned Makaton, encouraged his peers to learn it too, and he’s happy there.

She still signs with him now, even though his understanding is excellent and he has some words, because she won’t always be the one in the room. If he uses a speech sound with someone who doesn’t know him well and isn’t understood, he goes right back to feeling unheard. The signs are his backup.

Where to start today, for free

Kaley’s advice is to try before you spend anything:

• The Makaton Charity website: https://www.makaton.org has blogs and family stories, plus a directory to find a local tutor when you’re ready
• The Makaton Charity on Instagram (@Makaton) shares a sign of the week
• Singing Hands on YouTube has loads of Makaton song videos, and songs are brilliant because they’re repetitive, fun and engaging
• Mr Tumble on CBeebies

When you’re ready for proper training, a tutor helps you actually build it into daily life rather than just handing you vocabulary. You can find a local tutor through the Makaton Charity, and plenty of tutors run online courses now. Kaley runs both online and in person, for families, schools, businesses and organisations. Find her at https://www.signpossible.com or @sign_possible on Instagram.

The bit worth holding onto

Kaley started signing with Rui when he was two. He signed back for the first time when he was three. That’s a full year of showing up with nothing visible coming back, while quietly wondering whether to stop.

Then he stood at the fridge and made his own version of the sign for milk.

He’s seven and a half now, said his first word at five and a half, and Kaley describes him as a happy, cheeky, lovable boy who charms everyone he meets. She credits a lot of that to those early days of Makaton, and to him finally having a way to make his needs known.

You do not have to learn a language this week. You have to learn five signs.

Listen to the full conversation with Kaley anywhere you listen to podcasts by searching Neurodivergent Conversations.